Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
The following patent was issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office on August 9, 2005.

Attachment for Blade of Hockey Stick

patent#: US 6926629

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filed under Hockey, Trash
view the full patent  | comments (15)
posted on 1/20/2006, patent issued on 8/9/2005

Minnesota resident Martin Dehen has come up with a new use for the hockey stick – cleaning up yard waste. As the inventor notes, it's great for the nasty stuff, especially "rotten hornet-infested crab apples and dog waste [see illustration]." Why a hockey stick? Well, first consider the inventor's earlier options:

"If the waste is to be flung by hand to a desired location such as a compost heap, the waste may crumble upon the head of one who throws the waste."

As I believe the great Thomas Edison once said, "There's nothing that inspires my inventive prowess quite like a scalp full of crumbling dog sh*t."

An ordinary person would simply shake the dust off, pour vasts sums of money into fancy shampoos, and accept this faecal dandruff as part of being a responsible homeowner. But as an inventor, Dehen goes to the root of the problem: Why fling dried dog shit with one's hand when the good Lord (and Canadians) have given us a stick that can hit an object "with great force, with great control, and over a relatively great distance"?

Sorry, monkeys, you're not the only poop-flinging game in town anymore.

Update: These are being marketed as Turd Burglars and are on sale at the official website tburglar.com. Be sure to check out the games page ("Poopie Pants" or "Iraqi Hockey", anyone?) and the testimonials page. My favorite line:

"Crocodile Tears were running down her face as she cried foul, 'no fair, Skip always gets to clean up the poop and I never get any fun.'"

Fear not, Little Trixie, I have a feeling there will be more.

Congratulations to inventor Martin Dehen for getting his invention out there and on the market!

Attachment for Blade of Hockey Stick

Comments on Attachment for Blade of Hockey Stick

Robred1 | Dec 6, 2006 6:01 AM
Isn't "Turd Burglar" slang for a homosexual? So, basicly, this guy is calling his product an offensive slang for a gay man.

Jon | Dec 6, 2005 7:02 AM
Looks more like a...golf club for poop. FORE!

go_oilers_go | Dec 6, 2005 1:00 AM
Hockey was not invented in "America". Or the United States, whichever you prefer. It was invented in Russia. So get your crap together. No pun intended.

Mike Garrett | Dec 5, 2005 12:01 PM
PUCK ME?!?! PUCK YOU PAL!!!! O.K., sooorrry. Why is this not a great idea? When the kid was little we had a BIG DOG. The kid was very good at feeding, walking, etc., but she drew the line at poop scooping. And we have long winters in Maine so but the time the spring thaw came around, the backyard was...you get the idea. And of course Dad got doody duty(must...resist...bad...puns), but if I'd had one of these beauties, ah well. Good Idea.

tiny | Dec 5, 2005 3:01 AM
Suddenly, your neighbor's yard, who doesn't even have a dog, is festooned with doggie pucks.

Marty Dehen | Dec 4, 2005 8:01 PM
when the neighbors dog leaves a gift in your yard, it's a great way to send it back. The gift that keeps on giving.Bocce Poop- the next big yard game

Jerry | Dec 4, 2005 6:01 AM
Hockey was invented in America.

HockeyCanuck | Dec 4, 2005 4:01 AM
He poops, he scores!

mike | Dec 3, 2005 11:01 PM
I'monna git me wun.

tomtomthesoccermom | Dec 3, 2005 7:00 PM
This is actually pretty clever! It might actually get my husband out there to clean up the damned yard lol. While getting a little exercies. Get the fellow neighbors of the male gender together and they'd make a sport out of it! I actually like this idea!

overload | Dec 2, 2005 12:02 PM
sorry :p

w00t canadians behind you! | Dec 2, 2005 12:02 PM
got a good point there :p

w00t canadians behind you! | Dec 2, 2005 12:02 PM
got a good point there :p

w00t canadians behind you! | Dec 2, 2005 12:02 PM
got a good point there :p

We Must Stop the Canadian Menace! | Dec 2, 2005 1:00 AM
Holy Geebers! We must stop the Canadians before they get a hold of this! Think about it, they're an entire nation, trained from birth to use a tool for flinging feces. If we don't invade, we deserve all the crap that's coming our way.

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