Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
The following patent was issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office on May 3, 2005.

Vending System for Pet Items and Method

patent#: US 6886715

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filed under Pets
view the full patent  | comments (10)
posted on 2/8/2006, patent issued on 5/3/2005

F.I.D.O. – Forget Inessential Dog Owners

Has there ever been a machine more detrimental to animal-human relationships? If your dog no longer relies upon you as the "treat-master", you may find yourself cut off like a sack of jewels at a spaying clinic.

This "vending system" packs "a ball, a container of water or drinking liquid, a pet-food item, a pet grooming item, a pet health item, a non-ball pet toy, a collar, a leash, an I.D. tag, a whistle and a waste disposal kit" – everything a dog going solo needs to eat, drink, brush, play and obey local curbing laws.

What? Timmy fell in the well? It's time the little accident-prone bastard learned a lesson: Nothing gets in between Lassie and his Scooby Snacks.

Vending System for Pet Items and Method

Comments on Vending System for Pet Items and Method

Andrew | Dec 6, 2005 7:01 AM
This vending machine system seems vague- for some dogs it is hard enough to teach them to sit or stop barking, but this seems like a 'far fetched' trick. I think it will be a product that a few weirdos buy but no one would ever use. It will be a perfect gift for anyone who owns the human-dog collar.

Julie | Dec 6, 2005 7:01 AM
I just wanted to inform the writer that you don't get your sack of jewels cut off at a spaying clinic - they "neuter" males and "spay" females... unless for some STRANGE reason male dogs now have ovaries in their "sack of jewels!"

.jess | Dec 5, 2005 10:01 PM
i heart my doggies and would use something like this all of the time. i think its a great idea!

Mike Garrett | Dec 5, 2005 12:01 PM
Dubi, listen up, the guy is patenting the design concept. What You want him to design is a vending machine that DOGS CAN USE. My dog is not a paragon of self-control, give him a debit card and a machine like that and I'd be up to my ears in doggy toys in ten minutes flat. I mean it, no ATM card for the little Bozo until he can keep his cell phone charges under control!!

tiny | Dec 5, 2005 3:01 AM
I CAN'T INSERT A QUARTER! I HAVE NO MONEY AND DO NOT HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS!!

kittylovesherdoggy | Dec 3, 2005 7:00 PM
Clever!! I likes! Now how the hell is this supposed to work??!!

FinalCSI01 | Dec 3, 2005 12:01 PM
Who was the moron that thought of this, where does the owner put such a mostrosity?

Tampa Tom | Dec 2, 2005 4:00 PM
Uhhh, OK, where do the dogs keep the change? I mean, they don't wear pants, so they have no pockets....

Mike Brown | Dec 2, 2005 8:01 AM
I don't know how much of a threat this really is - in my opinion, any dog who can manage to carry money and figure out a vending machine keyboard deserves a treat at the very least.

Dubi | Dec 2, 2005 8:00 AM
In what way, exactly, is this different from any regular vending machine? How the hell can this be construed as an inventive step?!

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