Doggie Poop Freeze Wand :: Patently Silly

Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
The following patent was issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office on April 26, 2005.

Doggie Poop Freeze Wand

patent#: US 6883462

filed under Pets
view the full patent | comments (8)
posted on 12/7/2005, patent issued on 4/26/2005

Behold, the magic poop wand! The problem (as defined in the patent):

"1. The clean-up of animal feces is tedious, smelly, and messy.
2. The disposal of animal feces causes bulk, odors in trash or disposal areas, and unsanitary conditions.
3. The content of feces causes distruction and degradation of properties.
4. The natural body function of our animals is sometimes a nuisance to society."

The solution:

"The invention discloses a device and vehicle for decomposition and discard of animal waste. It's an elongated hollow tubular housing made of aluminum or PVC, a detachable cylinder filled with a compressed freezing chemical or refrigerant, or compressed liquid enzymes, which is inserted into the hollow housing, an operation button exposed for use, empty space at the handle end for the placement of plastic trash bags, and a threaded top on the end of the housing encapsulating the empty space. The decomposition device is aimed at the animal waste to be removed, and the operation button is pressed, which in turn manipulates the pressurized freezing chemical or enzymes, forcing the contents out of the opposite end, to freeze or breakdown the animal waste, dependent upon the choice of cylinder."

Has "Poopsicle" been trademarked?

Doggie Poop Freeze Wand

Comments on Doggie Poop Freeze Wand

Jon | May 31, 2006 9:16 PM
"Okay, for today on 30-minute meals with Rachael Ray, we get to the height of cooking laziness! 3 minutes in the microvawe with this TV dinner, watch 'The Simpsons,' and then simply take one half-gallon of heavy whipping cream, one bottle of vanilla extract, mix for 30 seconds, then insert sed poopie freezing rod in center of mix, stirring bowl constatly while slowly taking poopie rod out of cream. And there you go! Dinner and ass cream!"

didyoujustpoop.com | May 16, 2006 4:44 AM
A poopsicle, is just like a popsicle, only made of poop.

Morten Andersen | Jan 17, 2006 2:56 AM
Im pretty sure i saw something like this in a MAD magazine back in the 80/90. I will go through the stack the next time im in my summerhouse cabin. Best Regards Morten

tiny | Dec 16, 2005 11:31 AM
Also approved for questioning extreme rendition suspects.

Dante | Dec 16, 2005 11:26 AM
I think this is a sweet idea.

teqjack | Dec 11, 2005 2:11 PM
Heh. In Massachusetts, even pepper spray is considered a deadly weapon and requires a firearms license - almost impossible to get. How would a mugger react to having his eyeballs frozen with this thing?

Tampa Tom | Dec 9, 2005 12:13 PM
So, we're gonna start enlarging the hole in the ozone layer because dog owners are too lazy to pick up after their pooches? Hmmm, maybe we need to rethink this....

Doggie Poop Freeze Wand

patent#: US 6883462

Comments on Doggie Poop Freeze Wand

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