Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
The following patent was issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office on April 12, 2005.

Animal Sorting and Grading System Using MRI to Predict Maximum Value

patent#: US 6877460

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filed under Agriculture, Farm
view the full patent  | comments (7)
posted on 6/2/2005, patent issued on 4/12/2005

Students and teachers complain of grading children with standardized tests. Well, be thankful you're not a cow. One day cows may be graded with MRIs to determine "a number of days to maximum value to continue feeding an animal prior to processing the animal in order to obtain a predetermined maximum value for the animal." Stop you complaining kiddies or one day SAT may stand for Soylent Aptitude Test.

Wait a minute... Cows get free antibiotics and free MRIs and there are 40 million Americans without health insurance?

Animal Sorting and Grading System Using MRI to Predict Maximum Value

Comments on Animal Sorting and Grading System Using MRI to Predict Maximum Value

Jon | Dec 6, 2005 7:01 AM
No, no, no. It's an x-ray machine combined with the measurements of the cow to determine meat/bone ratio. Besides, that cow is now the beef jerky I am snacking on.

MRIguy | Dec 4, 2005 3:01 AM
It's amazing what the Patent office will grant. This guy hasn't the foggiest how an MRI works. He thinks it is a camera. The Figure 1 in the patent is for a videography system. The really bad part is that patent examiner was too stupid to ask someone compentent to review it. So now Bossy get's her picture taken and some idiot sells it as an MRI.

MRIguy | Dec 4, 2005 3:01 AM
It's amazing what the Patent office will grant. This guy hasn't the foggiest how an MRI works. He thinks it is a camera. The Figure 1 in the patent is for a videography system. The really bad part is that patent examiner was too stupid to ask someone compentent to review it. So now Bossy get's her picture taken and some idiot sells it as an MRI.

MRIguy | Dec 4, 2005 3:01 AM
It's amazing what the Patent office will grant. This guy hasn't the foggiest how an MRI works. He thinks it is a camera. The Figure 1 in the patent is for a videography system. The really bad part is that patent examiner was too stupid to ask someone compentent to review it. So now Bossy get's her picture taken and some idiot sells it as an MRI.

Erasmus | Dec 6, 2004 2:01 AM
They need a trapdoor under this thing that leads straight to a cat of boiling oil.

Erasmus | Dec 6, 2004 2:01 AM
That's what they get for being one of the few animals willing to stand motionless long enough for an MRI.

tiny | Dec 6, 2004 2:01 AM
Sure, the cows get an MRI out of which THEY can stick their heads, but on the udder hand, they'll soon be served on a bun at Mickey D's or Burger Death.

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