Necessity is the mother of invention. The father is unknown.
The following patent was issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office on January 25, 2005.

Nuclear Waste Disposal System

patent#: US 6846967

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filed under Environment
view the full patent  | comments (6)
posted on 3/7/2005, patent issued on 1/25/2005

Got some nuclear waste you need to get rid of? Why not dump it into a subsea volcano? Is it safe? I'm sure the inventor knows which toxic substances are safe to put in the ocean. After all, he is from New Jersey.

Am I a paranoid freak, or does it sound a little wrong to take one catastrophe waiting to happen and toss it in the middle of another disaster already in progress? Actually, it seems like similar projects may already be in the works, carried out by a country whose name is synonymous with "nuclear safety," Russia.

As usual, the proposed volcanoes that get to receive the proton spewing matter are near Hawaii, proud home to many of the nation's nuclear experiments.

But what if you dump your radioactive contatiners and there's not quite enough lava to hide the evidence? No problem! According to the inventor, "if the lava flow is deemed inadequate high explosives may be used to increase the lava flow by breaking the volcano walls." Did he just say to drop explosives into a volcano? I wanna buy that video tape.

I'm inspired to patent my own method of trashing nukes: Dispose of the waste by heaving them into oncoming tornados. The nuclear materials would launch the decaying matter safely into a fictional reality called Oz. Here, the prescence of gamma radiation may mutate the genetic structure of the local population, causing them to grow to such an extent that they can no longer be diminuitively referred to as munchkins. (I'm also trademarking the names "Little Folk Hulk" and "Little Green Strong Men").

Nuclear Waste Disposal System

Comments on Nuclear Waste Disposal System

Rolly Gunville | Dec 6, 2008 4:01 AM
Sent the following to hundreds of sites, "I have been looking for a Company or Organization that would be interested in a new theory regarding the PERMANENT disposal of Nuclear Waste. Would you have any suggestions?" No on replied, I guess no one is interested, or there is to big of an industry storing this nasty stuff, of I did not have a phd behind my name, too bad. My theory is not quite as far out as the volcano idea. 1 250 563 4350

Spuds | Dec 1, 2006 3:01 AM
Actually dropping nuclear waste into a subduction zone isn't a bad idea. Dropping it into a volcano is.

Michelle | Dec 6, 2005 7:00 AM
Ha haa! A nuclear waste in the pacific? It may be the answer to mystery left unsolved in the "Lost" show! The misterious infections, magnetic fields, strange peoples who takes childrens is the island a nuclear waste site?

ian | Dec 1, 2005 11:02 PM
i think this is a good idea. it works and its no where near humans. Nuclear power is the only sustainable power source we have (that can provide a city)

Dizzy | Dec 4, 2004 5:00 AM
Who are u talking to?

Smith | Dec 4, 2004 2:01 AM
Wow ! man it surely would have taken u ages to come up with this idea. Now I have one for u and it is to put u in one of these things and drop u in a volcano..by the way i did not waste ages on my one....!

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