The following patents were issued by the US Patent and Trademark Office in .
Intravaginal Retention Device for a Tailed Animalpatent#: US 6739285When a cow wags her tail, it's because she's happy, really happy. Ha! Actually it's a new device by Monsanto to make sure cows don't spend too much time not being pregnant. Well, how exactly is the bull supposed to do his deed with this thing shoved up her !@#*^ ? I'm sure it will upset many a drunken redneck, too. filed under Farm |  |
 | Heart Shaped Meat Productpatent#: US D490211Even a vegan's heart would melt with joy when you show her how much she means to you by grilling up one of these romantic beef slabs. Well Done! filed under Eats |
Tissue with Embossed Puppy Designpatent#: US D490248Because dogs love ass. filed under Toilet, Pets |  |
 | Thong-Type Garment with Wireframe Constructionpatent#: US 6738988The evolution of women's undergarments always seems to undergo a stage when wire is added liberally to the mix. Now it's come to the thong.
filed under Underwear |
Rodent Catching Apparatuspatent#: US 6739086"When a rodent enters upon the metal ramp and comes within about 1/4 inch of the baited electrode, it is electrocuted and falls to the bottom of the bucket, which contains a pool of water."
filed under Pests |  |
 | Arrow Extractor Device and Methodpatent#: US 6739030The perfect gift for every Planet of the Apes fan to have in their bomb shelter. filed under Hunting & Fishing |
Machine Control Over the Webpatent#: US 6739078"An apparatus for a user to remotely controlling a backhoe across a data network."
filed under Robots |
 | Handbagpatent#: US D490240filed under Bags |
Teat Cup Shellpatent#: US D490212Some people can make a bong out of anything, others can make anything INTO a bong. This sucker's used for milking cows. And, hey, where there are cows, there is usually grass... filed under Farm |  |
 | Tamper Resistant Institutional Shoe and Methodpatent#: US 67390741. A method for discouraging concealment of contraband in an institutional setting, comprising the steps of: filed under Shoes, Homeland Security |
