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patent#: US 7114465
Perhaps the loneliest invention I've seen since the Solo-Operable Seesaw.
patent#: US 6941897
If you dog is not already toilet trained, diapers may be in order, that is, if you are an owner that does not believe in the right to mark one's terrirtory or to eat one's own poop.
patent#: US D504984
It is said that, over time, dogs begin to resemble their owners – a process that can be accelerated through coordinated collaring.
patent#: US 6886715
F.I.D.O. – Forget Inessential Dog Owners
patent#: US 6883462
Behold, the magic poop wand! The problem (as defined in the patent):
patent#: US 6885305
"Messages can be sent to a pet using a hand-held remote transmitter and a receiver that is attached to the pet. The receiver can record voice commands. When the transmitter sends a signal, the receiver picks up the signal and plays the recorded command to the pet. The receiver can also have one or more lights mounted on it that can be turned on by pushing buttons on the transmitter."
patent#: US D504546
Okay, dogs aren't known for their sanitary practices. But isn't it enough that they eat their own poop? Do we need to encourage them to lick their urinals?
patent#: US 6874448
Bicycles and dogs just don't go together, especially in this Flintstone's-style sidecar combination. The dog is kept in close with the use of a siderail and a tight leash to prevent it from running in front of the bike. It's so much fun your dog will wag its tail right into the spokes!
patent#: US 6871616
There once was an overprotective vet,
patent#: US 6863033
Perfect for dog/goats without paws.
patent#: US 6860237
You know how it is with birds. Give them some seed, they want a cracker. Get them a cage, they want a perch.
patent#: US 6860240
Rollover Beethoven ringtone, now use your cellphone to train your dog. Okay, the inventors refer to the controller as a "command module," but it looks suspiciously like my old Nokia.
patent#: US 6857391
I've seen lots of animal toilets over the past year, and this is one of the most sophisticated. It features a motion-sensor activated doorway, a sewer, and even a shower-head! Very European.
patent#: US 6851393
The leash is for the dog.
patent#: US 6848392
In an age when many animals are fed chicken feathers, insects don't sound like such a horrible source of extra protein. Still, top breeders probably don't recommend it.
patent#: US 6840523
Technology for the next Ice Age.
patent#: US 6837186
Surprisingly, the first dog treadmill patent in the US was awarded way back in 1939. I guess with the Great Depression still in full-swing people were too busy selling apples on the street corner to take a dog for a walk.
patent#: US 6838101
Some dogs prefer to be greeted with a handshake, others prefer to receive a card.
patent#: US 6826850
patent#: US 6820574
If you really want to spoil your dog, take Rover to the day spa. In between the "hydrosurge baths," pamper him with a little ancient Chinese medicine... This ain't no ordinary dog-sweater, it's specially designed to contact "various acupressure points [...] to reduce anxiety behavior in the wearer." No more barking or biting!
patent#: US 6814279
Cricket, cricket in a box,
patent#: US D498026
Perfect for skiing, parasailing, whitewater rafting... whatever extreme sports your pet is into.
patent#: US 6805460
This invention allows the following hypothesis to be tested: If a dog can see the dark place he wants to put his nose, will he still sniff?
patent#: US 6802282
This device allows you to carry your dog like a backpack or a purse.
patent#: US 6803061
Let's face it, animals have bad breath, especially dogs. Think of all the loving moments you've had with your best friend that have been ruined by "dog breath." Finally, the gum industry is getting involved, at least the Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company. Years of testing have concluded that, indeed, canines yearn for "long lasting freshness."
patent#: US 6769382
There once was an old dog named Mush,
Apparatus for Determining Dog's Emotions By Vocal Analysis of Barking Sounds and Method for the Same
patent#: US 6761131
"The present invention relates to an apparatus of determining animal's emotions from vocal analysis of barking sounds, and more particularly, it relates to an apparatus of determining dog's emotions by vocally analyzing barking sounds."
patent#: US 6752103
Oh dear beloved mother,
patent#: US D490248
Because dogs love ass.
patent#: US 4919083
Of course you've heard of a Frisbee, but what about a Frisbeef? This flying disc is impregnated with "smoked ham, chicken, beef and other meat by-products such as ham hocks, shank ends, turkey, or chicken necks/backs and oxtails." Mmm... chicken backs, shank ends, and polyurethane – my favorite!