Patently Silly :: Archives :: Hanging Out

Method and Apparatus of Karaoke Storage on a Wireless Communications Device

patent#: US 7079026

Dispatch from the Near Future:
Perhaps it was inevitable. No one could blame us for not seeing it coming, or rather, not hearing it. Nothing like this had ever happened before. One moment we were smiling and singing, the next we were holding our ears to keep in the blood. Sure we all loved the sound of our own voices, but everyone else's... and at the same time? It was too much.

And to think of how scared we were of global warming. No one but cranky old buggers took noise pollution seriously.

And outside the sun still shines and the ice caps are still solid and blue. But those of us who can still hear hide deep down – beneath the bedrock – the one place where the phones don't get reception. The one place where the karaoke does not melt the brain like microwaves through a bowl of instant oatmeal. And here we will remain until the batteries run out or there is no one left to dial.

filed under Cell Phones, Entertainment
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posted on 9/18/2006, patent issued on 7/18/2006

Method and Apparatus of Karaoke Storage on a Wireless Communications Device

Subway Movie/Entertainment Medium

patent#: US 6870596

A subway ride and a movie, now THAT's a cheap date.

filed under , Entertainment
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posted on 5/5/2005, patent issued on 3/22/2005

Aquarium Video Combination

patent#: US D500478

A television built for Spongebob.

filed under Entertainment
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posted on 1/18/2005, patent issued on 1/4/2005

TV Mute Finger Ring

patent#: US 6778380

You won't want to throw this little circular beauty into the fires of Mt. Doom. It has the power to mute any television. Very cool.

filed under Jewelry, Entertainment
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posted on 8/17/2004, patent issued on 8/17/2004

Carrying Cases Having Amusement Features

patent#: US 6769588

There once was a man named Jayce,
Who thought he bought the most hilarious case.
He knew it with surety,
'Til he went through airline security.
It didn't put a smile on their face.

filed under Bags, Entertainment
more | comments (1)
posted on 8/3/2004, patent issued on 8/3/2004

Carrying Cases Having Amusement Features

Infant-Operable Remote Controlled Entertainment and Education Device and System

patent#: US 6746299

Alright, enough is enough. Stop it! What exactly are the entertainment needs of an infant? A nipple and a zrrbrrt on the tummy can't hack it anymore? Of course, these traditional entertainments require a human being to be present, and who can be expected to spare love and attention in these difficult times?

filed under Babies, Entertainment
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posted on 6/8/2004, patent issued on 6/8/2004

Retardation Film and Process for Producing the Same

patent#: US 6743487

Ingredients:

One actor in need of an Oscar.

One inspiring character.

A disturbing love scene.

Result: Audience tears.

filed under Entertainment
more | comments (4)
posted on 6/1/2004, patent issued on 6/1/2004