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Methods of Promoting Sleep Systems

patent#: US 6997070

I've never seen a patent on a technique for selling mattresses. And, perhaps I've been awake too long, but is this David Hasselhoff in the illustration? Knight Rider using jiu-jitsu to sell a mattress? Only the Hoff could be such a bad ass. He will grab you buy the arm, measure your resistive force, and send you home with a Posturepedic. Assuming of course, that once he's laid hands on you, you have any resistive force left.

filed under Bedroom, Marketing
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posted on 6/1/2006, patent issued on 2/14/2006

Methods of Promoting Sleep Systems
Providing Customized Text and Imagery on Organic Products

Providing Customized Text and Imagery on Organic Products

patent#: US 6874419

With the introduction of this method of printing on flower petals, we mourn the death of a convenient, clichéd plot device:

"While the flowers provide a gift to the recipient, it is the card that is the medium used to communicate a particular message or expression from the purchaser to the recipient. When the flowers are delivered without a card, the recipient is required to interpret the meaning of the gift, which can result in an erroneous conclusion."

filed under Marketing
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posted on 6/1/2005, patent issued on 4/5/2005

One-Sided Printing and Manufacturing of a Mobius Strip

patent#: US 6779936

I sense a new fad of geek jewelry with this invention.

filed under Marketing
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posted on 8/24/2004, patent issued on 8/24/2004

One-Sided Printing and Manufacturing of a Mobius Strip
Business Card Made from Edible Material

Business Card Made from Edible Material

patent#: US D493601

There once was a chocaltier named Alsace,
Whose business cards really had class.
I took one and forgot it,
And after months in my pocket,
I regret it tasted like ass.

filed under Marketing, Eats
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posted on 8/3/2004, patent issued on 8/3/2004

Advertising System

patent#: US 6742293

filed under Marketing, Boxing
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posted on 6/1/2004, patent issued on 6/1/2004

Advertising System