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patent#: US 7062320
Is there any cure for hiccups that is not patently silly? Some people breathe into paper bags, others like a good scare, and the more acrobatically inclined like to drink a glass of while standing on their heads. But the cures get even more extreme as the condition lingers. According to the inventor:
patent#: US 6933152
Labor Day is over. Time to go back to work: an unfortunate prospect, especially if your job is to make artificial human feces.
patent#: US 6878364
Over the past year I've seen lots of patents on bizarre animal experiments, but nothing quite like this one:
patent#: US 6867347
One of the hot topics of research in genetic engineering is animal-to-human organ transplant. A dangerous possibility is that it could allow species-specific diseases to make the leap into humans: Maladies previously unheard of in people could suddenly become a threat. Pig organs are the most likely candidate for animal-human transplant because they are the most similar in size to human organs, making us susceptible to Porcine Endogenous Retrovirus, a.k.a. PERV.
Method and Device for Rearing Insects, Especially for Obtaining Secretion from Fly Larvae for Therapeutic Application
patent#: US 6863022
My darling maggots,
patent#: US 6863536
Title of my novel: A Picture Paints a Thousand Screams
patent#: US 6855337
There's a lot we have to learn from bears before we drive them to extinction. For example, hibernating bears can go for five months without eating, drinking, urinating or defecating! If we can harness these secrets think of all the extra Playstation 2 time we'll have.
patent#: US 6855814
All the fun of E. coli without the undercooked meat. 0157 varieties.
patent#: US 6851805
Way cool--contact lenses with auto-focus and micro-gyroscopes. Perect for those drunken walks home.
patent#: US 6847847
"I think you've got something in your eye. Holy crap it's a microchip!"
patent#: US 6846670
Who said herpes was a bad thing?
patent#: US 6843774
Great patent art. Either its the way she's desperately gripping the chair, her "daddy double-dosed my prozac" smile, or the fact that her feet are the size of her torso, something is definitely wrong with this girl.
patent#: US 6843793
This highly complicated medical apparatus should make remote surgery a breeze. Rumor has it that you can open a rib-cage with one recitation of "Here is the church, and here is the steeple. Open the door and here are the people."
patent#: US 6838550
Keeping a Lid on Hell Since 2005.
patent#: US 6827717
What's a resectoscope you say? I'm so glad you asked. It's an electrically charged wire that goes up your urethra to take a biopsy of the prostate. Apparently, some of these have "uncontrollable drift currents which, if the patient were to touch metal, for instance that of the operational table, may result in painful skin burns." Ouch, that'll ruin your day. Hopefully, with this invention, electrocuted urethras will be a thing of the past. Unless of course, you get off on it.
patent#: US 6824389
While standing by the Pearly Gate,
patent#: US 6825332
Discovering the cause of the migraine,
patent#: US 6824508
Micro robot where'd you go,
patent#: US 6824500
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
patent#: US 6776169
First of all, I find it odd that you can patent taking a tree leaf and lighting it on fire. We don't want to be creating economic incentives for pyromaniacs.
Second of all, the inventor claims that these cigarettes "can prevent and cure hypertension, heart disease, arteriosclerosis and senile dementia disease." What any evidence? This guy is throwing out claims like a pioneer during Manifest Destiny. Besides, we don't want old people to smoke. Then it won't be cool anymore.
patent#: US 6777230
You can patent cancer? If you get this kind of cancer, do you have to pay this person?