Patently Silly :: Archives :: Health & Hygiene

Gas Combustion Type Hair Drier

patent#: US 6959707

In his State of the Union address on Tuesday, President Bush spoke of the need for the United States to eliminate its dependence on foreign oil. I agree whole-heartedly and I propose that the first step in this direction be the elimination of all petroleum-powered hair dryers and accessories. It is bad enough that our economy is reliant on Middle Eastern countries that despise us. What would we tell our children if World War III erupted over our insatiable desire for dry hair?

Do these things really exist? Has anyone ever used one?

filed under Beauty
more | comments (18)
posted on 2/2/2006, patent issued on 11/1/2005

Hinging Breast Implant

patent#: US 6875233

A, B, C, D, E, F, G... I've got all those size tit-ties.

This bizarre breast implant can be resized at any time by the wearer--like a basketball! There is actually a valve that sticks out of the surface of the wearer's skin that allows you to expand the implant with air or a fluid. I smell a new fetish...

Yes, it was invented by a man.

filed under Breast "Enhancement", Beauty
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posted on 5/31/2005, patent issued on 4/5/2005

Lip Enhancer

patent#: US 6830590

"A method and apparatus for enhancing the size of lips. The apparatus is a clear or flesh colored polymer strip with a strong moisture activated adhesive on one side. A user inserts the apparatus on the inside of their lip with an attached applicator. Once in proper position, the user simply pulls the applicator away. When in place the lip enhancer maintains a stretch in the inner lip tissue, causing more of the lip to be exposed externally, thus making the lip appear noticeably larger. Users may talk, eat, and drink while using the lip enhancer."

Need I say more, pouty-lips?

filed under Beauty, Attraction
more | comments (2)
posted on 12/14/2004, patent issued on 12/14/2004